Why are so many of us women having such a challenging time resting ?
When I say resting, I don’t mean browsing through Instagram or taking care of the laundry… I mean putting the phone and other electronic devices away, not doing any household chore, work assignment or family related task, not going out to a networking event nor going out for dinner with a special someone. I mean really resting, doing nothing.
I must confess; I help women find their own bliss and getting tools to feel better with themselves and their life… and I recently had a burn out. I got sick for not resting often enough. My body and spirit were exhausted, therefore my immune system was low and I caught a virus that knocked me down for ten days. I spent a whole afternoon in bed with Netflix for the first time in over two years and it felt so good ! I can’t blame this lack of rest on my husband nor my children as I do not have any. I need to take responsibility for this as I am the ONLY one who is not allowing myself to sleep more, do less and stand still.
How many of you can stay at home on your sofa, reading or listening to music, sit in your backyard, or in a garden, at a coffee shop for the sake of just being there, contemplating the surroundings, fully enjoying your tea or coffee, people watching or daydreaming without checking your phone every 30 seconds ?
Women need to learn how to stop being in the doing ( masculine energy ) and step more into the being ( feminine energy ), rest without feeling guilty or grasping this absurd concept of “wasting time” or being “selfish”. Men know how to rest. After a long day of work, they know how to allow themselves to take a nap, even at 8 pm. They can just sit somewhere and keep quiet. They can deal with a sink full of dirty dishes without needing to put them in the dishwasher right away.
If you are always busy running around between work, bills, taking care of your children, pets, parents….you are basically neglecting yourself and denying your right to replenish, even for 15 minutes a day. No one can give from an empty cup and we can’t be a good friend, daughter, mother, colleague, romantic partner if we do not stand still from time to time to let go and rejuvenate ourselves.
Multi-tasking and always being on the go are clearly overrated and actually the best way to get to non effectiveness, lack of focus and loss of energy. I have a client who sometimes works part-time, is married and has two children. She said to me that she can’t be at home and “do nothing”, It would make her feel guilty. The guilt obsession, here we go again ! The fact is that there are and will always be many things to do such as cleaning-up the house, checking bills that need to be paid, browsing on social media…etc…
I was so tired this week-end that I decided to watch a movie on Netflix after waking-up this Sunday morning, something I usually never allow myself to do. I really enjoyed watching ” A fortunate man”; a poignant Danish movie addressing the issues of childhood abuse, destructive patterns, forgiveness, love, destiny, purpose, faith, social class, ambition, creativity and fantasy…I highly recommend it. See movie trailer here.
We need to start allowing ourselves to slow down, take a deep breath and ask : ” What can I do right now to love myself ? ” It could be putting your phone on airplane mode for 30 minutes a day, taking a bath with deliciously scented body oils at night, sitting at home or in a coffee shop just looking around, grabbing a book or a magazine, listening to music WITHOUT standing-up, answering the phone, cooking or cleaning-up. These moments of self care will help you reconnect to your soul and body from time to time, improve your overall level of energy, health, sleep as well as the quality of your relationships and your work.