When looking for the definition of surrender, I find : to cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority. Most common synonyms are : giving in, giving ( oneself ) up or capitulate. In this case, how can surrender increase our joy and even lower our anxiety level ?
Our cultural and social conditioning is so focused on wining and loosing, being right vs proving the other is wrong or competing with others that surrender seems something truly negative, especially if done voluntarily.
However, if we can get some clarity about most causes of our stress and fears, we can admit that they are often related to set expectations we place on ourselves and on others as well as to our impulse to control ( things or people ), to eliminate the unknown.
Surrender is the opposite of control. It starts within the body, with an attempt to relax, to let go of the constant chatter of the mind for a second or two, to focus on our breathing, our body and our sensations. Surrender softly appears when we stop to try to be “right” or prove others that they are “wrong”. It shows-up when we stop resisting what is.
It often bothers us to realize we can’t control anything out there, besides our own reactions to what is. The pandemic has been a huge lesson of humility to come to acceptance with the idea that we can’t control the world, nature nor the people around us ( although most of us will keep on trying to do so ). Once we have set something in motion ( waking-up in the morning, preparing breakfast, reaching out to someone, connecting with others, starting a new personal or professional project…etc.), we have no idea how things will turn out nor what will happen next.
When we train to relinquish the urge to push, bend, change, prove or control, we allow mental and emotional space to appear. We open-up to the possibilities while feeling a great sense of relief. When we are attached to specific emotions, thoughts, a desired outcome or timeline, we worry a lot. We worry about keeping a good health, having “enough” money, attracting or keeping romantic love, care and desire, being approved, loosing or gaining weight, raising emotionally healthy children, hoping for them to be safe…etc.
However, when we accept what is currently happening ( or not happening ), we are not being passive, we are slowly growing the wisdom of accepting to release the mental or emotional leash.
If we let the universe, Spirit or God take care of whatever we wish to experience or get, it can be extremely liberating. It opens new doors and possibilities. The universe will make things happens, but when the timing is appropriate, not necessarily when we wish for things to unfold.
I believe that there is an art of surrender that can be nurtured every day just like the skill of speaking a foreign language or mastering a craft. It starts with a focus on the present moment and on our five senses. What do you feel right now ? What do you see, touch, smell or hear ?
Be present to what happens within you and around you.
When we feed our trust in our own intuition and in the universe, we naturally amplify our sense of gratitude and our joy. We reduce the tensions in our body ( usually in our back, neck, jaw or pelvic area ), we feel an emotional and physical softness.
We naturally open-up space to freedom and intuition, to trust and creativity, to spontaneity and play.
For further tips on how to surrender, feel free to reach out to me.